V’s STORY - A journey to recovery
Apr 21, 2021
V is an empath and someone who was drawn to people with a lot of stress in their lives. You know the kind, the ‘fixer-upper’ kind of people that you just want to pour all your empath magic into repairing and restoring? She spent many years taking on other people’s stress and issues as her own.
She worked relentlessly, always putting her own needs at the bottom of the list, to help others through their troubles. But this became a pattern, a burden with no respite. She found herself stuck in an abusive relationship, which sadly wasn’t her first.
Along with this and the demands from her children’s significant needs, her health began to significantly decline to the point where her stress levels were off the scale. At times, she couldn’t walk up the stairs in her own house without getting on her hands and knees and experiencing heart palpitations. Simply taking a shower meant having blood pressure spikes, leading to physical collapse.
She saw her GP and was put on beta-blockers.
It was shortly after this that V came to me for help. She knew she had to make some radical changes but didn’t know how to break out of the chaotic spin her life had become.
V agreed to work with me, to trust me and to trust the process.
The first thing we had to tackle was being able to set healthy boundaries but, like most of us, she didn’t find it easy at first.
Like any empath, she felt guilty for “turning her back” on those around her who needed help. She felt excruciatingly uncomfortable with the process at the beginning but the difference it made to her life made her feel grateful and glad that she had stuck with it.
In the early stages of her transformation, she was, in her own words, "an emotional wreck".
V suffered anxiety attacks because her normal default was existing in a world of high stress, so she had no other reference point, to begin with. Every day she would be rushing from one thing to another, with no let up. She didn’t know how to be kind to herself, love herself enough, or take the downtime she needed and found it hard to enforce the boundaries she’d set for herself and those around her.
She struggled from one day to the next in survival mode.
Over time, as we identified the inner resources she already possessed V started to take back control of her life.
She stuck to her decisions and resolve to start saying no, and to making herself a priority.
V quickly came to realise that if she wasn’t able to respect and love herself and learn to ‘fill her own cup’ then she would have little else to give to others, especially her children.
She worked hard on the methodologies I showed her on how to deal with her abuser and put them into use with good effect during the transition period before she was able to leave.
Having managed now to create this essential ‘mind space’ V’s adventure of self-discovery began. She began to rediscover herself, who she was, what she wanted, what her needs were.
She also reignited her love for cooking healthy, nutritional meals. She started to make space to spend proper quality time with her children. For the first time in her life, she remembered what it felt like to live a peaceful, far less stressful life.
Things weren’t easy and the process of releasing herself from the abusive relationship she’d found herself in led her to spend some time in temporary accommodation.
These were difficult weeks, having only one room to live in with two kids, a dog, and no cooking facilities, whilst she waited for housing. This again was a challenging and stressful time for her but now she had more tools in her armoury, and much more healthy coping skills.
The struggle was real, painful and frustrating but her resilience and determination to make a better life for herself and her family were growing by the day. She’d started to learn to say no but also, where essential, to not take no for an answer either, which helped her negotiate appropriate housing and to get moved in quickly.
V got a taste for that liberating feeling of being empowered, finding her voice, speaking her truth, and living life on her terms.
For the first time in a very long time, she started to treasure every moment of her life, her family and started to feel truly happy from the inside out.
I’ll let V finish this story off for you in her own words:
“Deborah has helped me so much over the years with struggles I’ve faced and even more so recently when I decided I needed to put myself first.
I now have so much energy. I am 100% present in my children’s lives, in my business, in my home and in my community. It’s a truly amazing feeling.
I’m not stretched and overwhelmed anymore and it’s all down to the help I’ve received from Deborah’s guidance and advice. I no longer live to please everyone. I live to excel for myself and my beautiful, amazing family.
Looking back, it’s made me quite emotional, to be honest. I forgot what life used to be like. If I was still in that place of putting myself last, the thought of where I’d be now petrifies me.
I couldn’t imagine ever going back.
I much prefer life the way it is now.
I can’t thank you highly enough.
Thank you so much Deborah.”
Are you done with the toxic life you’re living?
Are you done with the abuse and there being nothing left of you, and nothing left for you?
If you know it’s time for change and you want to turn your situation around and start living feeling fully present in your own life, for yourself and those around you then we can work together.
If you want to leave the struggle behind once and for all. If you want to take back your power and live a joyful, kick-ass life then we can work together.
If 'V' can do it, then you can do it!
Go ahead, book a call with me using the link below and let's have a chat about whether you're the right fit for my 90 day transformational program.
I promise you won’t ever look back.
If you're currently suffering the effects of narcissistic abuse or are currently in a toxic relationship and don't know what your next steps are - know that you don't have to do this alone. Book a complimentary session with me and let's discuss how I can help you recover and find freedom again.
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